An(other) Open Letter to Governor Kim Reynolds

The Official Karen©
2 min readMay 21, 2021

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Gov. Kim Reynolds

Kim, honey — can we talk? Did you go and enter a worst-person-of-the-year contest and not tell me about it?

What’s up with the midnight legislation — cramming through instant laws like prohibiting schools from implementing mask policies?

Maybe you have trouble understanding the CDC guidelines. They said fully vaccinated people MAY go maskless. It was not a directive.

It’s not as if you’re not fully on board with letting schools force the pledge of allegiance. You’re fine if schools make kids wear pants or shoes. But my school wants to ask kids to wear a mask until everyone’s had a chance to get vaccinated, and suddenly you’re shrieking about liberty?

It’s not even possible for children under twelve to get vaccinated yet, and children under sixteen have barely had time get the first shot.

You say you do these things with a love of liberty, but all I see you do is pass legislation for people to live the way you want them to live. Or rather, the way your ALEC handlers want everyone to live. You strip a woman of her right to control her own body, yet you refuse to let schools protect their teachers. You rob school districts of the right to protect the vulnerable.

You have stained the legacy of a formerly progressive state. You’re an accomplice in the deaths of 6,000 Iowans. How many more will you kill? Iowans struggle for breath beneath your jackboot.

I mean Kim, really. There was a time when I thought we could be friends, back when you expanded kids’ access to mental health care and restored voting rights to convicted felons. I thought maybe you had empathy. But now I realize the voting rights thing was just so people with multiple OWIs (like you) can still vote.

I have a hunch you’re jumping through hoops for some pretty prize in 2024. Your Faustian bargain with The Orange One didn’t pan out. But let me warn you — Iowans can — and will — talk about what you’ve done to our state. We know all about how you lined the pockets of your donors with federal Coronavirus aid, and how you’ve robbed citizens of affordable and reliable heath care through Medicare privatization. You even attempt to bankrupt public schools and have the nerve to call it ‘school choice’. But I warn you, we have eyes. And voices.

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The Official Karen©
The Official Karen©

Written by The Official Karen©

Gen-X Prius-driving tree-hugger on a shoeless crusade to save the world. The Official Karen©: All other acts, opinions, and statements are unauthorized.

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